Plane taxi bus bus car car taxi train train bus taxi home - PHOTOS TO COME SOON

Baby H

I am exhausted.  I want my big white fluffy bed with my velvet/satin sleeping mask which very clearly has embroidered the letters “Shhhh” in silver cursive text on the front to discourage any form of disruption which may dare to consider coming my way.

Nick showing off his rock skimming

Nick has his head in my lap (stop being dirty, he is sleeping!) and we are just stopped at Lancaster train station on the long journey from Fort William to London.  We spent the weekend with Mum and Dad who have taken some well deserved time off to visit their favourite daughter and her beloved man while doing some travelling of their own in between.

Mum falling over.....again

We started off flying to Edinburgh which was so nice and easy!  As soon as you had taken off you were landing and just there, ready to go.  The first day was taken up entirely with the “Hairy Coo” tour which was fantastic, a lovely young boy in a kilt and a big orange bus picked us up from town and proceeded to drive and drop us around at some wonderful hidden spots of Scotland.  Mum managed to fall on her arse within the first two hours (very gracefully may I say, Tara you managed to drum something of the fine art of Mohiniattum into her), Dad made best buddies with Russell the tour guide (don’t forget to add him on Facebook Dad) and I nearly vomited numerous times at the gross old French couple who could not keep their filthy hands off each other the entire trip and insisted on making the loudest kissing noises while sitting in front of me...très dégoûtant.

The following day we drove up to Fort William in our little hire car which was ridiculously exciting.  When you haven’t driven in almost a year you realise how much you miss getting behind the wheel and giving it some in a 1.6L people mover.

When I told people that I was going to Scotland on holiday everyone says the same thing, “oh, Scotland is just beautiful”.  The governments tourism industry isn’t paying them it is actually true it is gob smackingly gorgeous.  Even more so in the highlands where all the landscape was carved out of huge glaciers in the last ice age and its so dramatic, a kind of beauty which takes your breath away in a mix of picturesque serenity and downright intimidation.

Dad and hairy coo bonding

I am actually part Scottish, would you know?  I even have a clan!  It is the Stewart (or spelled Stuart, we are not entirely sure which is correct) clan and was once apon a time royalty, until the people decided the Queen was a huge bitch and they threw her and her family to the slums and we lived like peasants.  Nothing lasts forever hey.  Mum is all into her genealogy and ancestors so a pat on the back to her for doing all the digging and finding out loads of history about where her family came from, there is something comforting about visiting the place of your roots no matter how far back they may be.

St Andrews Cathedral

Apart from being driven from place to place in the great land which is Scotland – (bit of trivia for you, the northern part of Scotland actually broke away from Canada years and years ago and as it is lying on a tectonic place it made its way over to Scotland, head butted it and decided to stay, hence why the flor, fauna and landscape is so similar) – Nick and I spent time keeping Mum and Dad sane from spending too much time with each other, eating Scottish curry and Nick helped Dad sample half the Whiskeys in the UK.

All in all it was a fantastic trip and it was so good to see the parentals again, looking very much forward to seeing them for the last time this year on Monday and Tuesday next week.  At this point I have to say a huge thank you to Granny Bet for her lovely letter and gift which has helped cure some of the boredom over the days of travel and also to the Kate, Tony, Nicky and Jay for their little bit of love from home which I am sure will compliment the Demons hoodie that Mum and Dad brough over in the colder months!

Dad pondering what life would have been like as a pro golf player at St Andrews

You must by now be getting used to my very English whinging so to keep you from suspense here I go, the trains got buggered up and now I am going to get home at 2:30am if we are lucky.  That is 3 hours later than what was planned and only 5 hours sleep until I have to wake up and get back to the working week.  Seriously, don’t diss plastic surgery it is just a supplement for lack of beauty sleep.

So back to real life, it is a busy time of year in the UK.  So many visitors!  My darling Tess from Melbourne finally made her way over so it was great to catch up last week as short and sweet as it was, we will make up for this when we hit Barcelona in 2 weeks!  My darling girls Kara and Steph from the west side came to visit and stayed at our house while we were away this week and it was so unfortunate to miss them but hey, what can you do at least they kept our bed warm ;)  We spent a wonderful evening with the newly engaged Nicole and Braidon (also from the west side) last week, congrats guys!  Ibiza is next month and then is it August, a year since I left.  Oh goodness.

So if you are at home in Melbourne reading this (hopes are high I know, my blogs are not that interesting) you are missing out, all the cool cats are coming over so pack your stuff, pull the cash from under your mattress and high tail it over!  Weekend trips to Spain not enough incentive for you?  Okay, tomorrow the forecast is for 32 degrees in London.  Okay, so get packing.

In a nutshell, what else has happened since my last blog which I believe was just after Morocco?

Fort William

·      Mum and dad met Nicks family and by family I mean Mum, Dad, Mum, Dad and Grandma.  It went so well, they are all such lovely people the day flew by and I think everyone got along very well, can’t say I wasn’t relieved when it was over, two parents at once are stressful enough!

·      I went to Dublin for a day for work, I saw the Airport, how our products are made and established an eternal hatred towards Ryanair.

·      Nick ripped a hole in his jeans, again.

·      Our housemates Lisa and Chris went to the Isle of White and came back with half of the isle of mud, looked like lots of fun though so maybe next year!

·      Our friends Anna and Jerry got married in Thailand, lucky ducks!

Mum looking over what her ancestors would have looked over every day!

It's now 9pm so I am only another 5 hours on a damn train away from my bed.  It could be worse.   Actually it is, either I have wet myself or Nick is drooling in my lap so I think I had better sort either myself or him out.

Hope everyone is well and happy, love to all!

p.s. Nikki Ellison please tell me you have received your wedding present, if not I am going to ring up the company I organised it through and give them bloody what for!  Lots of kisses x